How to Disciple
“Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
Matthew 28:19-20
People have different styles when it comes to “making disciples”. Some like the very casual and unplanned approach of just hanging out and talking about God. Others tend to be very structured and lean heavily on books and programs. There’s probably a healthy balance somewhere in the middle—spending time and doing fun things together, while also purposefully studying and discussing topics important to a young believer’s spiritual growth.
Friendship with a purpose. This term probably describes balanced discipleship the best. It involves coming alongside a friend and purposefully helping him/her to grow spiritually, in the midst of life and in the context of friendship. Ideally, each person should have someone whom they are discipling and someone whom they can look to as a mentor.
If you’re just starting on this wonderful adventure of disciplemaking, you’ll find the resources below helpful.
Disciplemaking Tips:
Pray. Pray and ask the Holy Spirit to show you “your woman” or “your man” (Read Born to Reproduce below).
Who? When prayerfully selecting a disciple, look for a person who is choosing to make Christ the Lord or Leader of their life (See 3 Circle Diagram). Often disciplers choose Christians who are struggling but not committed to obeying the Lord. It’s obvious to you as discipler that your friend needs help. Yet, if your friend doesn’t want to obey God, this type of discipling relationship will end in frustration for both of you. It’s best to wait until s/he decides to fully follow Christ. Meanwhile, sink your efforts into discipling a younger believer who really wants to follow God.
Timeframe. We have found it to be most effective to have timeframes where you have a starting and ending point. Otherwise, either of you might feel obligated to keep meeting, even when you feel a need to take a break. This gives either person a gracious way out if their circumstances change or if they somehow lose interest. For example, after showing someone how to have a Quiet Time, you could ask them later if they would like to meet for three weeks, doing something fun together and also talking about their weekly Quiet Time highlights. After three weeks, you’ll have a better idea whether your disciple is ready for more! And your disciple will have a better idea whether they want to continue meeting with you.
Starting Point. Start with simply asking a younger believer if s/he would like you to show him/her how to have a Quiet Time (fellowshipping with God through Word and prayer). More on this below.
Learn and Do. We believe in the “Learn and Do” style of discipling. Years ago, we took leaders through a two year thorough discipleship series and then challenged them to the same. They were exhausted and overwhelmed at the thought of doing this! God helped us find a more effective way—showing disciples how to do something (eg. Quiet Time) and gave them the challenge of teaching someone else. When someone teaches another person, the truths become more embedded in them!
Born to Reproduce. God’s desire for us is that we invest ourselves spiritually in another believer and help him/her to become a reproductive Christian as well—someone who goes on and does for others what you have done for them!
Discipleship of various sizes. God may give you a one time opportunity, simply showing someone how to fellowship with the Lord. Becky will never forget Susan, a friend in college, who showed her how to have a Quiet Time. This is what Philip did for the eunuch (Acts 8). Or God may give you a longer opportunity to invest in a friend and help him/her, in turn, to do the same for others.
Click on the following links to access great resources.
Born to Reproduce: Written by Dawson Trotman, this timeless piece will inspire and challenge you to invest your life in others! This is a must-read!
How to Have a Quiet Time: If all you ever do is show someone how to spend time with the Lord, then you will have done more than most believers ever do for a younger believer. Learning how to have a Quiet Time is the most basic, foundational step in discipleship yet it is largely neglected. Practical tips we learned from years of practice:
You can do this for younger and older Christians alike. New believers will definitely benefit and many older Christians are sporadic in their devotions.
Make a point to actually sit and do a sample devotional together. There’s a big difference between telling someone what to do and doing it with them.
When we work with someone who’s been a Christian for awhile, we like to give two copies—one for personal use and the other for him/her to show another friend how to spend time with the Lord (“Learn and Do” principle).
Start people on the book of Philippians for a number of reasons: it can be read in two weeks; it’s upbeat, encouraging and practical.
An essential element in having a devotional is journaling what God’s Word is saying and how we can apply it!! It may take extra work and you may be tempted to skip this, but don’t! God uses the writing process to enable our minds to meditate on His truths and the act of writing embeds those thoughts on our hearts!
Ask if your friend would like you to follow up the next week where you both can share a highlight from your Quiet Times and pray with each other.
If you think that your friend might like to be discipled, you can also follow up by asking if s/he would like to meet for 3 weeks and either do Quiet Times together or simply share highlights and pray together. This is a great way to offer short term discipleship.
In following up with your friend, if you find that s/he is becoming consistent with devotionals and is eager for more, you could offer to take him/her through a discipleship book, such as the One to One Discipleship. However, if you find that s/he is struggling to be consistent with Quiet Times, that’s pretty good indicator that s/he will have difficulty going through a discipleship book together. You can save both yourself and your friend from frustration or disappointment by simply recognizing that s/he is not quite ready for more discipleship.
One to One Discipleship: This 9-week series covers the basics of growing in Christ. The beauty of this resource is that it covers the essentials, is easy to use and practical. We have found it to be very effective to have our friend (disciple) begin to “lead” our sessions after a couple of weeks (especially if they’ve been Christians for awhile). Disciples will learn even more when they have to lead. Lessons include: Assurance of Salvation, Attributes of God, The Bible, Prayer, Spirit-Filled Life, Fellowship, Witnessing, Temptation, and Obedience.
How to Share Your Faith: Sharing the gospel should be a natural part of our lives; yet most believers are fearful of evangelizing and have never led anyone to Christ. Normally, young believers are excited to share their faith. Encourage them with evangelism! The sooner a disciple develops a lifestyle of witnessing, the healthier s/he will be! Teach your disciple how to share their faith and then find an opportunity where you can both share with someone (Learn and Do). You can, with the power of the Holy Spirit and your obedience, overcome hurdles and lead people to Christ! Without evangelism, the discipleship experience will become stagnant.
Scripture Memory: Memorizing Scripture is another barrier for many Christians, perhaps because it requires time and effort. But committing Scripture passages to memory has so many rewards! The Holy Spirit uses what we memorize to remind us of important truths in our time of need, to enable us to point others to Christ and to realign our minds with the Lord. Memorize verses or passages together!
How to Spend a Day in Prayer: This booklet contains two impactful articles, Fasting and Prayer (Dr Bill Bright) and How to Spend a Day in Prayer (Lorne Sanny). These two reads will certainly equip and prepare you to develop your prayer life! Read and discuss and plan to have a half day prayer retreat together! If you time constraints, go on Scripture Prayer Walks together!
Tyranny of the Urgent: Written by Charles E. Hummel, this article is a treasure that is necessary to read every year. You’ll be encouraged to prioritize the important things in life over the urgent.