The phrase, “Enough is enough!”, usually invokes images of a frustrated parent scolding a disobedient child! But the phrase could also mean, “Enough (what is adequate or sufficient) is enough”! The first perspective is one of dissatisfaction while the second is one of thankful contentment. This choice of gratitude and acknowledgement for “what is” versus “what is not” is, unquestionably, one of the keys to biblical contentment that the Apostle Paul exhorts believers to embrace again and again throughout his writings (Phil 4:11, 1 Tim 6:6-8, Heb 13:5). 

I’ve been meditating on this recently in light of some recent developments in my journey with cancer. For the last 5 months I’ve been struggling to recover from what I thought was a very painful dirt bike groin injury. Despite my best efforts to patiently heal and strengthen my body with stretching, exercising (mountain biking/hiking/surfing/swimming) and physical therapy, my discomfort only seemed to worsen. So, after months of crippling pain, I had a bone scan only to have the attending radiologist come in and ask, “Mr. Hallman, did you know that you have a fractured pelvis?” followed by, “We also found two suspicious lesions on your hip and one in your spine.” The short story is that additional scans revealed that I now have metastatic cancer in my hip, spine (T-11), upper right rib and left mandible, which is obviously not good news. Interestingly, recent PSA and blood tests indicate that my non-medical treatments (see previous posts) are working and significantly bending the trajectory of my cancer growth downward. Unfortunately, they are not working fast enough to keep up with the aggressiveness of this particular variety of prostate cancer. 

So, at this point, my only medical remedy is Androgen Deprivation Therapy (AKA Hormone Therapy), which will bring my testosterone count down to zero, starve my cancer of fuel and temporarily put it into a state of dormancy for a period of 18-24 months. After that, the cancer will find alternate energy sources and continue its aggressive expansion in my body. The potential side effects of ADT (similar to menopause) can include hot flashes, weight gain, mood swings, depression, muscle loss, thinning of the bone density, heart attacks and gynecomastia -- also known as “MOOBS”! (Initial random thoughts: 1) Please, God, not MOOBS!, 2) Let’s see, menopause or death … hmmmm, 3) Another reason to look forward to our glorified bodies and 4) Don’t stare at my chest at church!!) LOL So, my first shot of ADT was administered a few weeks ago and, within a month, my cancer will be virtually non-existent (not to be mistaken for cured – think, “the weeds are gone, but the seeds are still in the ground”). Thankfully, I have had no adverse side effects as of yet and my hip pain has already improved significantly!! 

OK, that’s the bad news! Now for today’s “Top Ten Reasons Why Enough Is Enough!”:

1. I’m ENJOYING life and my EPIC ADVENTURE more than ever!! In fact, the single word that best describes my overall response to having aggressive cancer is, “Euphoric”! (I know, I know … it sounds crazy, outlandish and bizarre, but please read on!)

2. I’m more in love with Jesus than ever! (He’s EVERYTHING to me and I’m reminded of the old hymn, “Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face. And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace”!)

3. I have more love and gratitude for my family, friends and fellow believers than ever! (I can’t even begin express the overwhelming intensity of affection and appreciation I have for everyone -- including perfect strangers!)

4. I’ve had more opportunities to share the gospel and be an extension of Christ’s love and grace than ever! (It’s been a continual feast of non-stop divine appointments and wide open doors for ministry!)

5. I’m more content and at peace than ever! (Facing death is wonderfully refining, clarifying and liberating!)

6. I’m more grateful, content and thankful for EVERYTHING than ever! (An attitude of gratitude for every moment, everything and everyone eliminates the temptation to waste time doing anything but living for Christ and for the benefit of others!)

7. I’m more excited about the future of Crossroads Christian Fellowship and Kauai Bible College than ever! (I’ll have more to say about this in the months to come but, suffice it to say, the Lord is unquestionably using my cancer to elevate, advance and prepare our fellowship for its greatest days ahead!)

8. I’m more grateful for every day God gives me than ever! (I’ve had an incredibly full and satisfying life — loving family, awesome wife, wonderful sons and daughter-in-law, new beautiful granddaughter, full and fruitful 35 years serving the Lord and His Bride, far more incredible friends than I deserve, more adventures and experiences than most could hope for and a lifespan that far and away surpasses that of many, including the 50 million aborted children worldwide every year, all the young 18-20 year old men/women over the last 242 years of our country’s existence who sacrificed their lives for our precious freedoms and those who lived in times and places not so long ago when the average life expectancy hovered around 45 years of age.) Bottom line, I’ve had a good, long, fruitful and fulfilling life and I can gratefully say, “Enough is enough!”

9. I love challenges and cancer is challenging me with a new application of Paul’s very bold words to the believers in 1 Cor 11:1 when he said, “Follow me as I follow Christ”! (Verbalizing these words to Becky, John, Mike and the people in our fellowship over the years has been a game changer for me and for those I’ve had the privilege of leading/serving! Now, I have the added blessing of not only modeling in flesh and blood what it looks like to “Live in Christ”, but also what it looks like to “Die in Christ”!)

10. Having said that, I’m not dead yet (LOL) and have every intention to do whatever is reasonable, medically and non-medically, to live as long and fruitful a life as God permits!! The medical consensus at this point is that with the ADT treatment suppressing my cancer, my non-medical protocols have a very good chance of healing my cancer! Whatever the outcome, I can joyfully and confidently say, “It is well with my soul"!

In closing I’d like to thank each of you again for your gracious friendship, loving concern, wonderful encouragement and faithful prayers (not a few of you pray for me more than I pray for myself)!! The Lord is hearing, answering and BLESSING in ways we could never have imagined! May God see, honor, bless and reward you for the countless ways you have been flesh and blood extensions of the heart of the Lord to me, Becky, John, Sydney, and Michael and to the beautiful saints at Crossroads Christian Fellowship and Kauai Bible College!

Your forever-grateful friend, brother and fellow servant of Jesus Christ,

Bob